A reader writes:
What is your feeling about sending thank-you notes after you have been rejected for a job? I don’t see the point. It feels a little obsequious for my tastes.
If while being rejected, the person makes you aware of a new role or opens a new path for you … “a colleague at a different company has an opening there” … then absolutely, thank them for that! But why would I thank someone for not giving me a job?
More than a few of my friends disagree. They would say you are thanking the person for being considered and that it is a way to make a good impression for roles you might apply for down the road.
I suspect these post-rejection notes either aren’t read at all, or they are read and immediately forgotten. If one makes an impression that lasts beyond the rejection, it was made during the interview and a post rejection note isn’t making a difference one way or the other.
There’s no particular expectation that you’ll thank the interviewer for their time after being rejected. Some people do, some people don’t. You’re right that if it’s a perfunctory note of the “I appreciate your consideration and thank you for your time” variety, it’s not likely to make much of an impression. If that’s the note you’d send and you’d rather not bother, go ahead and skip it. It’s a polite closing of the loop, but it’s not a big deal if you don’t do it.
However, there’s a different way to use this kind of note that has more value. If you write a substantive email about your interview conversation and/or the work they’re doing, that can make an impression that can help you down the road. That’s not about thanking them for their time; it’s about making a networking connection. That kind of note can make someone think, “You know, let me mention the opening I just heard about at PartnerOrg that they might be good for” or “I should keep this person in my head for other roles in the future.” Or not, of course — there’s no guarantee with this stuff, but that’s true of any networking effort. Sometimes they pay off and sometimes they don’t. But little networking efforts like this are often smart to do, and it’s not about being obsequious or thanking someone for rejecting you. It’s just about strengthening a connection.
If your friends are arguing passionately for the “thank you for your time” perfunctory notes after a rejection … well, they’re very polite but they’re overemphasizing the value of said emails. But if they’re arguing for something more substantive, they’re right about the impression they can make.
