It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…
1. My employee came back to work with a hair salon cape and dye cap on
I work for a small organization. Most of our work takes place virtually, and the majority of the staff chooses to do hybrid work. Someone is always in the office, but rarely is everyone in. A hair salon shares the building with us, and some of the staff choose to schedule appointments there over lunch or after work. The other day, an employee I supervise had a hair appointment scheduled over lunch. I didn’t realize that she was planning to have her hair dyed and that it would take longer then a regular break. Instead of taking extra time off, she came back to work in the middle of the appointment with a cape and dye cap. I’m pretty flexible with taking personal time and working flexible schedules, but this seemed pretty unprofessional to me. I didn’t address it in the moment, but did speak with the employee the next day about how that type of thing could interrupt focus. The employee said they didn’t think it was a problem to pop back into the office for 15 minutes while the dye set. Did I overreact, and should I document this in case of future issues?
In most offices, it would be pretty reasonable to expect that employees not to come to work with hair salon capes and dye caps on. I get her thinking — she just had to sit around and wait and her office was right next door so why not go back and get some work done? — but it’s not unreasonable to want to keep your office feeling like an office, not a spa. Plus, hair dye smells.
It doesn’t rise to the level of something you should need to document —you’ve spoken to her, she knows now not to do it, and formal documentation would be overkill — but it was reasonable to explain she shouldn’t do it again.
2. My boss wants us to spend a Saturday playing games in a park
My boss wants to do a team on-site. It’s taking place over a few days, including a social event on Saturday. A few others already said they won’t be able to make it for the weekend event. She then said the Saturday event can be optional but she strongly recommends that people attend. It’s 11-6 pm. It will be at some local park with games and probably some food that people are supposed to volunteer to bring. It’s not planned out yet. A location hasn’t been decided, just the date. She wants us to all help plan it as a team. Am I overreacting that I think this is ridiculous? Some of us have families. Is there a way to share feedback or should I just drop it?
No, you’re not overreacting. If your manager thinks it’s valuable for your team spend a day playing games in a park, she should use a work day for it. (But she’s not, because at some level she knows it’s not not worth using work time on.)
Ideally a bunch of your coworkers would push back on this — saying you have other commitments on the weekends/can’t attend and suggesting it be during work hours if it’s important. If enough of you say it, she may drop it. But if she won’t budge, you can either say you won’t be there or (if your sense is that you’ll be penalized in some way for not showing up at all) you could drop by for an hour and say that’s all the time you have open that weekend.
3. Recruiter wants me to pay them to find me a job
I am a product manager who recently received a LinkedIn connection request from a recruiter that said the following: “I’m a manager at _______, a career accelerator. If you’re looking for a job in product management, we can help you. We work on an Income Share Agreement where you’ll pay us 9% of the first year’s salary ONLY if you land a job. Let me know if you’re interested.”
This seems bonkers to me. Is this a common new recruitment model? I’ve googled around but only seemed to find blogs from companies that DO this model touting it. I am curious if you have heard of it and what your thoughts are.
It’s a sleazy and predatory model. Reputable recruiters are paid by employers, not candidates. If you want to hire someone to coach you through a job search, that’s a different thing — but that should be for a flat fee, not a percentage of your future earnings. (Also, I’d be awfully concerned about whether they’re going to claim part of your salary even if you find a job completely on your own, arguing it was their coaching that allowed you to.)
4. What to do if a coworker saves your life
This is an actually hypothetical question, thank goodness, but: what do you consider the appropriate response if a coworker saves your life? (In any number of ways, I suppose, but I’m thinking specifically of “performing CPR til the paramedics arrive” or a similar action.)
Is there a level of gift or favor that seems appropriate? Or does one just express heartfelt gratitude and do their best to look out for that person’s interest in the workplace and outside it, regardless of any previous difficulty in the relationship? Essentially, is there a way to express that one is genuinely thankful for an act with such huge personal impact, without being trapped in a transactional nightmare?
I recognize that this would be a better question if I presented a more specific set of circumstances, but honestly it’s just something that occurred to me while stopped by an ambulance on my morning commute. But I’m still curious to know what you think.
I don’t think there’s one right answer to this! Partly because it’s such a rare situation, and partly because what will feel right will differ from person to person and from situation to situation. My bias is always that a heartfelt expression of gratitude is more meaningful than a physical token of said gratitude (in a variety of situations, not just this one), but when we’re talking about a real-life situation with real-life specifics, often other things can feel right too — a really nice meal out, a bottle of the person’s favorite wine, or whatever feels right based on your knowledge of the person and your relationship with them. Something like that isn’t required, but if something comes to mind that you know the person will appreciate, there’s no reason not to give it.
I wouldn’t worry that it will trap you in a transactional nightmare — like they save your life, you respond with a bottle of wine, they respond by pointing out a suspicious mole you should get checked out, you give them a card… It’s likely to just be the first two and then general ongoing good will from there.
